Mushroom Man Tasered

Some mushrooms make you big, some make you shoot fireballs. The green ones even give you a 1UP. Apparently some also make you naked. As the Morning Call and Express Times report: A naked Upper Nazareth man on a bad hallucinogenic mushroom trip is accused of assaulting a police officer and an emergency medical worker who had come to help Sunday after he threw himself down the stairs of a home in Palmer Township.

"It started as a medical call," said Palmer detective Sgt. Timothy Ruoff. "It went bad from there."

Garrison L. Goodman, 31, of Upper Nazareth Township had taken "magic mushrooms" at 1202 Dunkle St. when he attempted to "dive or fly" down the steps from the second to the first floor, Ruoff said. Although Goodman was eating the mushrooms, Ruoff said, a bottle of mushroom juice was also recovered from the house. Goodman was visiting a friend at the time.

Brian Flavelle of Suburban Emergency Medical Services arrived about 1:25 a.m. to assist Goodman, who was suffering from a cut to his head and broken collarbone, Ruoff said.

Goodman was naked in the front yard and attacked Flavelle, Ruoff said, punching him several times in the head.

When Wilson policeman Marc Crisafulli also arrived, he was punched a number of times in the head by Goodman as well, Ruoff said.

The melee ended when Crisafulli shocked Goodman with a Taser and arrested him, Ruoff said.

Goodman was treated for his injuries at Easton Hospital, then arraigned by District Judge David Tidd and sent to Northampton County Prison under $50,000 bail.

Goodman faces charges that include aggravated assault, simple assault, reckless endangerment and possession of a controlled substance.

Public drunkenness, underage drinking, and disorderly conduct

The Morning call has a charming police blotter article about a Nazareth man having a fun time with Nazareth Borough police yesterday. You can read it here. After being picked up for some suspicious activity he
broke a window with his head and smeared his blood on the holding cell’s glass, door, three walls, toilet and floor. Later, according to the article, he licked his blood off the broken window, saying, “I need blood. I want blood. I want your blood.” Good times.

arson, arson endangering property, causing catastrophe, risking catastrophe, recklessly endangering another person, disorderly conduct...

The Morning Call has a police blotter article about a Nazareth woman who tried to break her way back into her apartment after a domestic dispute. Maybe not a terribly unusual premise. However, the method of entry is. According to the article she used long stick matches to melt the window screen to attempt to gain entry causing fire damage to the apartment. Brilliant!

You read all about Nazareth's best and brightest under the topic "crime and punishment."

Colbert Report vs. Library vs. Tatamy Kid: Cage Match

Monday night, The Colbert Report had an update on their original Nazareth Library/Tatamy kid expose`. The video is posted below. Meanwhile, the Nazareth Memorial Library board president issued a memo (dated July 2009) to defend their position, clarify some 'facts,' and plug some George Orwell books.

In the interest of full disclosure, both members of the Weird Nazareth staff have library cards at the Nazareth library and find the Colbert Report videos humorous. Oh, yes, yes, and we both live within the Nazareth school district... nice try.

The Colbert Report	Mon - Thurs 11:30pm / 10:30c
Dominic Philip's Book Habit
http://www.colbertnation.com/
Colbert Report Full Episodes Political Humor Tasers

Slurpees and Hot Dogs

A naked upper nazareth man was taken in by police and will be charged with simple assault, recklessly endangering another person, aggravated assault on a police officer, criminal mischief, resisting arrest and disorderly conduct. According to the LehighValleyLive.com article the man was causing quite a scene at the 7-Eleven on 191 near East Lawn.
According to the article, when police arrived, the man yelled, "Let's go coppers," jumped up on the hood of the police cruiser and kicked the windshield. After ignoring police commands to get on the ground and control himself. He was shocked with a Taser when he charged at a police officer. The man was completely naked at the time.

Here are some "fun facts" as they are listed on 7-Eleven, Inc.'s website:

• July 11 (7/11) is the official birthday of the 7-Eleven® convenience store chain.


• A typical 7-Eleven store in the United States has between 2,400 and 3,000 square feet, and carries about 2,500 different items


• 7-Eleven stores sell almost 26 million gallons of fountain drinks a year – enough to fill 65 Olympic-size swimming pools.


• Blueberry is at the top of the hill as the best-selling muffin in 7-Eleven stores across the country. And customers #1 pick for a donut is glazed.


• The most Slurpee® beverages are sold in Winnipeg, Manitoba, in Canada, followed by Detroit, Michigan. But the #1 Slurpee store in the world is located in Kennewick, Wash.


• 7-Eleven was the first convenience store to sell pre-paid phone cards.

Tatamy Kid Nailed by Colbert

Monday's The Colbert Report featured a riveting expose` on the Tatamy boy who got his Nazareth Library card revoked after having his photo appear in a local newspaper. Fear public library system.

Interesting tidbit: just learned the interior shots of the "Nazareth" library were filmed in a New Jersey library.

The Colbert Report	Mon - Thurs 11:30pm / 10:30c
Nailed 'Em - Library Crime
http://www.colbertnation.com/
Colbert Report Full Episodes Political Humor Tasers

"Let me tell you something, funny boy... You know that little stamp? The one that says Nazareth Memorial Library? Well, that may not mean anything to you, but that means a lot to me. One whole helluva lot. Sure, go ahead, laugh if you want to. I've seen your type before -- flashy, making the scene, flaunting convention. Yeah, I know what you're thinking... Why's this guy making such a big stink about old library books? Let me give you a hint, junior. Maybe we can live without libraries, people like you and me.... Maybe. Sure, we're too old to change the world. What about that kid, sitting down, opening a book right now in a branch of the local library and finding pictures of pee-pees and wee-wees in The Cat in the Hat and The Five Chinese Brothers. Doesn't he deserve better? Look, if you think this is about overdue fines and missing books, you'd better think again. This is about that kid's right to read a book without getting his mind warped. Or maybe that turns you on, Seinfeld... Maybe that's how you get your kicks... You and your goodtime buddies... I've got a flash for you, joy boy. Partytime is over."

Tree Love in Nazareth

At WeirdNazareth.com we love trees. In fact, we have a whole section dedicated to Nazareth's weird trees. As the Express-Times reports, a woman was found heavily intoxicated, hugging a tree Friday night on Broad Street after having stumbled out of a nearby bar. Her husband, who was also intoxicated, was busy helping his wife by searching for her missing teeth in the middle of the road. The couple was charged with public drunkenness.

There was no word on whether or not the teeth were found or if they were smashed by a passing car. There was also no word on the status of the tree.

You can read the cleverly-titled Express Times article here: Woman vomits in street, hugs tree and falls over in Nazareth

How to get mentioned on Weird Nazareth...

There are various ways to deliberately get yourself mentioned on Weird Nazareth. It just takes some creativity and gumption. For instance, you could:
1) Repaint your house to resemble an Essroc cement plant
2) Create a statue of Mario Andretti out of scrapple
3) Attempt to break any number of world records
4) Stage an elaborate Sasquatch-sighting hoax in Black Rock woods
5) Or you could do what Sam Sanchez did and break into someone's house, naked and drunk.

As J.D. Malone reports in the Express Times:

A borough man was awakened by noises Monday night to find a naked intruder in
his car and his house broken into. The homeowner was nice enough to give Mr. Sanchez a bed sheet to cover up with. Unfortunately, Mr. Sanchez got tangled in
the sheet and tripped before being caught by police.

If you have achieved any of the above, or anything else weird-worthy, we want to know about it. E-mail us at weirdnazareth@hotmail.com

The Devil Chasers of Nazareth

In 1908 there was a very bizarre murder committed in the borough. The victim was a small child, May Smith. The murderer was a borough resident, Robert Bachman, head of a religious cult. According to our research, the girl's life was taken, by trampling, as a human sacrifice during a ritual of Devil Chasing within a house in the borough.

The religious group, called "Church of God," often met in Nazareth to worship. On April 26-27 the Smith's, Henry and his wife, traveled from Borough of Alliance (now Northampton) to Nazareth to worship at Bachman's home. In the evening, the 5 year old girl had been put to bed but had become restless. Bachman interpreted the girl's behaviour as the work of a devil...possession...and decided to kill her to rid her body of the spirits. This was with the alleged consent of the girl's parents, both of whom were followers of Bachman.

Accounts of the ritual from passers-by indicate that it lasted through the night and involved chanting, singing, and shouting and eventually escalated to near destruction of the house itself. A neighbor discovered the crime as the parents attempted to load the body onto the horse-cart, presumably to travel back home. The Bachmans and Smiths were arrested and chanted and sang as they walked to their cells. Bachman's wife and the Smith couple were eventually freed. Bachman and Mr. Smith we noted as seeming quite mentally mad during their initial incarceration; often flailing about and chanting and praying in their cells.

We found the house were the events occurred. It is an innocent looking two-family home on the west end of town. The front porch has since been removed and many families have come and gone...surely many were completely unaware of what had transpired within over 100 years ago.

News Articles (1908):

The Child Was Sacrificed (source unknown)
Fanatic Kills Little Girl (NY Times)

Fanatic's Child Sacrificed (NY Times)

Slain Girl's Parents Free (NY Times)

Child is Sacrificed (Wash. Times) Below:

Thanks to:

Loyal Weird Nazareth reader Sharon C. for the idea & Moravian Historical Society for a bit of research help

Boomerang Hot Dogs?

A weird story found in the Express-Times this morning:

An Easton man was cited on Sunday afternoon after he allegedly threw pieces of hot dogs at Wal-Mart customers, Colonial Regional police Officer Michael Kovach said.
Kovach was called to the Wal-Mart on Route 248 in Lower Nazareth Township about 4:15 p.m. for a report of a man who was intoxicated and throwing hot dogs, Kovach said.
When Kovach arrived he said he found Harvey Clymer, 35, of the first block of North Third Street, highly intoxicated inside the lobby of the store.
Clymer's blood-alcohol content was .39 percent when he took a preliminary breath test, Kovach said.
He said there was a fundraiser selling hot dogs outside the store and Clymer went inside to eat them.
Clymer was cited for public drunkenness and disorderly conduct. He was taken to an area hospital for alcohol poisoning, Kovach said.
Story/article courtesy of The Express Times Michael Buck
Photo courtesy of Agmilmoe